Back to Basics

Back to basics, for sure!

I have to repeat that statement in my head as many times as necessary, so I can actually follow through! It is way past time for me to get back to the basics; back to healthy, back to the consistent lifestyle that I was living before I fell off the wagon and damn near ran myself over…

I was thisclose to reaching my weight loss goal. Like .8 lbs…yeah,  point 8 pounds away – right there! And then, I let life take over…

Well, first let me really take it back…. life has been throwing me curve balls at a steady rate since last November. That is when I stutter stepped and lost my way a bit. I was a few pounds away from my goal then, and I was very happy with my body. After the death of a very close friend, I stress ate- all. the. time. Then the holidays hit, but I stayed in decent control and was able to get myself in check, nearly immediately.

In January, I got pregnant and the morning sickness helped a tad and then, at a little over 7 weeks I lost the baby. And, again, I stress ate. Unfortunately, the fiasco of losing my baby was a little more than a month start to finish, and I was depressed, so I ate. After everything was over with the baby, I promised myself I would get back to basics. Track and do it right.

The whole point of Weight Watchers is to enjoy food and life, but be mindful of what you’re eating and drinking. I know how good or bad things are for me. It’s all about making decisions. And I admit, I made bad ones. I have a closet full of new clothes that when I bought them, they fit perfectly or were roomy. Now, they just 'fit'.

I have hovered in the 141-143lbs. range for months now. I worked my butt off (literally!) a few weeks back and I got down to 139.8- .8lbs away from my goal weight. I could taste it!

No excuses, I made poor decisions, drank wine every night, I ate more points each day than I should have, and had very little, if any, exercise to counteract my food choices.

I must get this under control. I want to reach goal. I want my clothes to fit the way they did when I bought them. I want to enjoy myself during summer without any worry. I have worked very hard this last year to get where I am. It has been just over a year since I started this journey, and in that time, I have lost 35 pounds. I lost all the Jaxon weight. I lost all the stress weight that I gained between pregnancies after my loss of Mason, and I lost all the weight I gained in my 20 weeks of pregnancy with Mason. I am currently just under pre-pregnancy weight (overall). But I want a few more pounds, because I would be happier with just a little less weight than I started out with.

So, no excuses. I am getting back to basics. Tracking is number 1. Cutting back or eliminating drinking alcohol of any kind and fruits and vegetables overload for summer. I need to get my cravings under control and I need to focus on healthy options, not just convenience.

So, I am not going to dwell on what I did wrong or hate on myself for the decisions that I made, because it's over- I made them and this is where I am. But, I am going to fix it! I owe this to myself! And, I know that I can do it!

Xoxo-Ladylewy

Disconnected

I think my kid is completely fascinating! I can guarantee I am not the only parent who thinks that about their kid. Jason and I often look at each other and just say “we made him!” He is smart, funny, caring, curious, stubborn and a little love.  He thinks the little things in life are the best- just like his Mama!

Sitting in our backyard yesterday evening I realized how relaxing and beautiful our night had been. I put my phone down on the way out the back door to play with my kid and I disconnected from everyone. Jason was inside cooking dinner and I was outside having a ball on the swing set and running around our yard with my kid. I didn’t care what else was going on.

Even after we came in to eat dinner and do our nighttime routine, I didn’t bother with my phone. I got Jaxon down for bed and got ready myself, I didn’t bother with my phone. I got a notification, I responded and put it back down. I truly felt connected with my family. I felt like I was where I should be, both physically and mentally.

I recently watched the viral video “Look-up” and I am pretty determined that I need to disconnect from social media. The bottom line is, my kid is the most important person in my life and I really want to focus 100% on him. The things in other people’s lives are theirs, not mine. Their drama doesn’t need to be brought into my world. They wouldn’t want my drama in their world, and that is why I don’t post it! It’s my drama, not theirs. I don’t want my business out there nor do I want their input or judgment on my decisions. Some people may think that sounds rude, but that is the way life used to be.

Before social media was a part of everyone’s day, people didn’t know what you did all day, they didn’t know your opinion of every single topic and they didn’t know about the person who cut you off on the freeway. I don’t put negativity on FB because I don’t want it in my world. I want to focus on happiness, positivity and the good things this world has to offer. It’s a choice, my choice. Of course, I want to celebrate people’s triumphs, their accomplishments, their happiness. I want to share in the good,  and I want to offer my condolences for their sadness, but I think I can be a good friend, a good person without knowing every single thing about their every single day.

Please, don’t misunderstand my point, there are some great advantages to social media. For me, I found my family from my dad’s side through Myspace and Facebook. I feel connected to them, and I definitely want that. I can stay connected with my family from Arizona, also. I love seeing my family grow up even though I don’t get to see them but once per year. Social media offers some amazing advantages, but I am allowed to draw the line where I need it.

Miranda Lambert’s song “Automatic” is a great look at how things have changed over the past 20 years. Technology has advanced tremendously, yet there is still this amazing drive to make it better. And it’s fueled by consumers who still want more. You have the power of anything you can dream of in the palm of your hand, but people still want more.  Well, so do I. I want more genuine, beautiful memories with my kid, my family. I want a childhood that my kids will want to recreate with their kids. I just don’t need to be on my phone 24/7, I don’t need to be connected to everyone at every moment.

So, I am going to disconnect. I will stay connected here and there, and I will post my own updates when I feel like it. But, social media will no longer rule my world. My kid will; my family will. They deserve all of me.

Xoxo- Ladylewy

Enjoy the Dance

Hard work and determination are the keys to success. If you want something in life, you have to work for it. Period. There is no other way. There is nothing free in life and if you think you’re getting something free, you better look for the strings…

To be perfectly honest, I don’t want anything free anyway - unless it's buy one get one free- then bring it on!! LOL!!)....Anyway, I want the glory of hard work attached to the triumph. I thrive on that feeling!

Jason and I have struggled financially for years and we’re finally in a good place! We have worked extremely hard to get here and it feels really good.

Our financial struggles started before we got married. A series of events chained together to create a really bad situation for us.  I can’t say that we weren't at fault, because we made decisions that got us to that point, but I can definitely say it was truly another person’s actions that led us down the path we were on. And, we wish every day that we didn’t follow it! Long story short: a bad roommate caused our financial strain before our wedding and that snowballed out of control. Our financial decisions from that point on were not the best. We should have made different choices and we didn't.

But, we owned it. It was our fault. We made the decision for him to move in with us (the living situation was a bad move too, but again, we made that choice). We also didn’t change our budgets to reflect what was really happening. Truly, had he paid his way- we would've been fine. But, he wasn’t and it was our job to fix that. So, live and learn.

We had another battle with our finances about 18-20 months into our marriage. The economy was tanking and the gas prices were outrageous- we drove big vehicles that were about $100.00 each to fill up at that point. When the company I worked for started having troubles, my job outlook began to dim. I realized that I needed to find a new job, one where I had upward movement available to me. We decided to make the change at that point and not look back. We moved in with my grandparents, paid off some of our debt and began changing our budget. We knew that we needed to really cut back. Soon after, I laid myself off. Thankfully, I found a subbing position within a few weeks and a few months later that turned into contract. But, it was a big pay cut. Once again, hard work and determination paid off and we were in much better shape in less than 2 years and we were able to move out on our own again, and afford it!

As my lost post points out, within 18 months of getting out on our own again, we had gotten ourselves to a good place in our finances where we were actually able to buy a house. Also, we had learned a lesson: things need to change when you’re not comfortable. If we are using credit to survive, our budget isn’t working for us. Scale back. Work harder and cut things out. Now, we save for things. We understand that instant gratification only lasts for a little while…sometimes waiting for something and the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment you have when you receive it feels WAY better, especially if it takes a long time...victory is much sweeter when it’s earned!

There is always a lesson in every experience in life. You just have to search for it. I am the first person to admit sometimes life really sucks and no matter how hard you work, sometimes you just don’t get what you want. Life truly is a “cha-cha”, sometimes you take a few steps forward and another back. But, so what? It’ll make the end result so much more.

Xoxo-Ladylewy

American Dream or Your Own Dream?

Since the dawn of time, the normal, accepted "America Dream" is to own your own home, right? Well, Jason and I share that dream- sort of. We would love to own our own home. I would love to paint and decorate every room however I wanted and pay the mortgage and not pay for somebody's vacation in the process. I would love to make changes for our backyard and plant flowers in the front yard- all on my own terms without anyone’s approval needed. But, sometimes, happiness with one’s home doesn’t come in the form originally imagined.

Last year, Jason and I got to a point where we were comfortable in our finances and actually felt ready to take a slice out of that pie...

We contacted the bank and we got pre-approved to buy our own home! Our approval came on my income alone and it was a really decent rate, so we were pretty thrilled. We packed our house up and moved in with my mom (a whopping 7/10 of a mile away) so we could save a down payment while we searched for a house. We figured we would have a decent DP by the end of summer and considering that the market was revving up again, we didn’t anticipate that anything that really worked for us would be available until we had a down payment anyway. Our plan just (seemingly) worked.

Unfortunately, we quickly learned that what we could afford based on my income was rapidly becoming non-existent, at least in terms of a long term purchase that would work for our family and what we wanted at that time. Because of the financing, we couldn’t qualify for a lot of houses that we liked since as first-time buyers we were using a down payment assistance program to help further our buying power.

Jason went back to work in December. We were informed by our finance company that he has to be on the job one year for his income to count. His potential income was far too high to not be included in our search. So, we made the decision back in January that we were putting our buying plans on hold for a bit and we were going to focus on other things in the meantime while he reached one year on the job. We figure, the amount we qualified for on my income alone, would increase dramatically if we include his income too. So, we can wait.

As we made changes to mom's home and the backyard was on our mind over the past few months, our general idea of timing was also changing. We don’t really care if it’s next summer or the summer after that when we finally make the purchase. We are taking our time.

Obviously, my mom and I get along, she is one of my best friends. She is an amazing Grandma to Jaxon and she and Jason have a wonderful relationship. The situation just works for us. Jason works crazy hours again, and right now has a pretty crappy commute. So, when my work schedules gets out of control (like it just did for Spring Testing) I have my mom to help out. Otherwise, I would basically be a single parent.

Since we decided to stay put, one of the things we wanted to do was give Jaxon an enjoyable backyard. He loves the park and I don’t have the ability to run off all the time and let him run wild. But, I can make the backyard a kid-friendly environment that he can play in from sun up to sun down without worry.

In a collaborative effort, we just created a little backyard oasis. A play structure for Jaxon, with kid-friendly ground covering and a beautiful gazebo/covered structure for us to hang under. We have a few more tweaks on this side of the yard to make it “done”. 

On the other wise of the house, Mom had a deck built through the french doors from the dining room. It was a group effort spearheaded by one of my mom's best friend's husbands. Jason, my mom and Papa all got out there with them and knocked this out in two days. It's beautiful! It needs a few finishing touches, but here is the progression from framing to finished (almost)!

We also put lights in the tree that the deck is built around for ambiance and, let me tell you, at night it’s beautiful!! Also, for Mother’s day, we got my mom a set of wireless speakers that look like lanterns. So now we can have music outside during parties too!
 

The only piece left that we really need to get taken care of is a dump run for clean up of all our projects over the last year and we would like to install a projector at the gazebo so we can have movie nights or enjoy games (Go Giants!) under the stars.

 

Our first big entertaining extravaganza will be Jaxon's birthday in less than one month! Still a ton to do, but I think it's going to be amazing and I cannot wait!

xoxo- Lady Lewy